"Sukh"...toh tumhe jitna punya kiya hoga.....utna hi milega.......
parantu "Shanti"....gharwali ki iccha hogi......utni hi milegi....
parantu "Shanti"....gharwali ki iccha hogi......utni hi milegi....
Sunday, September 18, 2011
politically incorrect II
've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new
children's-oriented iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good
product name.
A new Muslim clothing shop opened here in Fort Dodge, but I've been banned
from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive
slowly past schools.
A friend of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I asked, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother has a
moustache"
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on FaceBook.
I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4000
Muslims have added me as a friend!!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to
the lady at the registration desk...
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.”
The Red Cross knocked at my door asking if I could help towards the floods
in Pakistan. I said I would love to, but my hose only reaches the bottom of
the driveway.
I know you will forward this one....
*
*
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his
tongue. – Anonymous
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
– Josh Billings
children's-oriented iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good
product name.
A new Muslim clothing shop opened here in Fort Dodge, but I've been banned
from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive
slowly past schools.
A friend of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I asked, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother has a
moustache"
Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on FaceBook.
I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4000
Muslims have added me as a friend!!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to
the lady at the registration desk...
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.”
The Red Cross knocked at my door asking if I could help towards the floods
in Pakistan. I said I would love to, but my hose only reaches the bottom of
the driveway.
I know you will forward this one....
*
*
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his
tongue. – Anonymous
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
– Josh Billings
Hold your fart
Don't hold your farts in,
they travel up your spine and into your brain
and that's where your shitty ideas come from....
they travel up your spine and into your brain
and that's where your shitty ideas come from....
Gas cylinder
Teacher:agar duniya mein saari aaurto ke chehra ek jaisa hote toh kya hota?
Pappu:Hona kya tha Sir,gas cylinder ki tarah aaj eske ghar kal uske ghar
Pappu:Hona kya tha Sir,gas cylinder ki tarah aaj eske ghar kal uske ghar
New sponsors
PEPSI has withdrawn its sponsorship to Indian Cricket Team.
The new Sponsors are WHISPER ULTRA
as Team is going through its Worst PERIOD
The new Sponsors are WHISPER ULTRA
as Team is going through its Worst PERIOD
Height of education
A policeman saw a teenage boy crying
He asked him: Whats the matter, boy?
Boy: "MATTER" is anything that occupies space & has mass.
He asked him: Whats the matter, boy?
Boy: "MATTER" is anything that occupies space & has mass.
The Lord works in mysterious ways!
Persevere!
*A young pastor was sitting in a restaurant eating lunch. He opened a letter
he’d just received that morning from his mom. As he opened it a
twenty-dollar bill fell out. He thought to himself, Thanks, Mom, I sure
needed that right now.
As he finished his meal, he noticed a beggar outside on the sidewalk leaning
against the light post. Thinking that the poor man could probably use the
twenty dollars more than he, he crossed out the names on the envelope and
wrote across the top in large letters, PERSEVERE!
So as not to make a scene, he put the envelope under his arm and dropped it
as he walked past the man. The man picked it up and read the message and
smiled.
The next day, as the pastor enjoyed his meal, the same man tapped him on the
shoulder and handed him a big wad of bills. Surprised, the young pastor
asked him what that was for. The man replied, “This is your half of the
winnings. Persevere came in first in the fourth race at the track yesterday
and paid thirty to one.”*
*A young pastor was sitting in a restaurant eating lunch. He opened a letter
he’d just received that morning from his mom. As he opened it a
twenty-dollar bill fell out. He thought to himself, Thanks, Mom, I sure
needed that right now.
As he finished his meal, he noticed a beggar outside on the sidewalk leaning
against the light post. Thinking that the poor man could probably use the
twenty dollars more than he, he crossed out the names on the envelope and
wrote across the top in large letters, PERSEVERE!
So as not to make a scene, he put the envelope under his arm and dropped it
as he walked past the man. The man picked it up and read the message and
smiled.
The next day, as the pastor enjoyed his meal, the same man tapped him on the
shoulder and handed him a big wad of bills. Surprised, the young pastor
asked him what that was for. The man replied, “This is your half of the
winnings. Persevere came in first in the fourth race at the track yesterday
and paid thirty to one.”*
What's her age?
A Kentucky State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway.
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.
He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young
man
behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a
young
woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and
gently
raps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window. 'Uh, yes, Officer?'
The trooper asks: 'What are you doing?'
The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine.'
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says: 'And
her,
what is she doing?'
The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails.'
Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at
night in a lover's lane... And nothing obscene is happening!
The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man?'
The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.'
The trooper asks: 'And her.... what's her age?'
The young man looks at his watch and replies: 'She'll be 18 in 11
minutes...'
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.
He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young
man
behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a
young
woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and
gently
raps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window. 'Uh, yes, Officer?'
The trooper asks: 'What are you doing?'
The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine.'
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says: 'And
her,
what is she doing?'
The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails.'
Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at
night in a lover's lane... And nothing obscene is happening!
The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man?'
The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.'
The trooper asks: 'And her.... what's her age?'
The young man looks at his watch and replies: 'She'll be 18 in 11
minutes...'
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