Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Pathology one liners


Pathology’s top ten one liners...... .& what they really mean


1) Enucleated specimen of right eye, inadequate for opinion: excise the left eye, too.


2) Small round cell tumour, advised immunohistochemistr y for a definite diagnosis: I don’t know what the hell it is.... 


3) Compatible with lichen planus: doesn’t look like it. But if you insist, I don’t resist.

4) Florid reactive hyperplasia, lymph node; advised close clinical follow up: boss, wait till it turns into a full blown lymphoma, then I’ll type it.

5) Borderline serous cystadenoma, ovary, with focal microinvasion: phew, this’ll save my skin, if the patient throws a met 10 years later!

6) Early ill formed epithelioid granulomas with occasional acid fast bacilli: I have an excellent imagination!

7) Special stains for fungi, bacteria and parasites are not contributory: I didn’t look hard enough.

8) Metastatic poorly differentiated neoplasm, cerebellum, with possibilities of carcinoma, sarcoma, melanoma, lymphoma . . .: looking for the primary is your job; anyway, how does it matter now?

9) Appendix showing lymphoid hyperplasia: you knocked off a perfectly normal one.

10) Poorly preserved biopsies from multiple sites, unsuitable for definite opinion: only a necropsy can solve the issue

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Think about it

When a married man says-
'I'll think about it',
What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.

Technology update

If any girl has full make-up even at home..
Dont get confused..
Its obvious that Her phone has "3G".. (Video Calling)

Ooo teri

Ooo Terii
Q. Whats common between Srisanth and
Sharad Pawar?
A. A slap and a sardar............................

Coz Both's name started with S.
nd slapper's too with H

THE TAX SYSTEM EXPLAINED IN BEER

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all
ten comes to $100…

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go
something like this…

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do..

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball.
“Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce
the cost of your daily beer by $20″. Drinks for the ten men would now
cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so
the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.
But what about the other six men? How could they divide the $20
windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted
that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man
would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s
bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle
of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out
the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four
continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began
to compare their savings.

“I only got a dollar out of the $20 saving,” declared the sixth man.
He pointed to the tenth man,”but he got $10!”

“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar
too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!”

“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man “Why should he get $10 back,
when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”

“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “we didn’t get
anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!”

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine
sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay
the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough
money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how
our tax system works.
The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the
most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for
being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is
somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics.

Worms

It takes 300 silkworms to make a pair of silk panties

but it takes only one worm to persuade her to take it off

Opposite

Lecturer: Children in the dark make mistakes.
Convert this sentence to opposite.
Student: Mistakes in the dark make children.