Two blondes living in
Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says
to the other, "Which do you think is farther away.... Florida or
the moon?"
The other blonde
turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida
?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde
pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on
it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says,
"What's the story?"
He replies,
"Just crap in the carburetor."
She asks,
"How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer
stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her
license.
She replied in a
huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you
take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to
you!"
RIVER WALK
0A
There's this
blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the
opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the
other side?"
The second blonde
looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on
the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young
redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever
she touched it.
"Impossible! "
says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took
her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her
elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise
she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made
her scream.
The doctor said,
"You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well,
no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought
so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
=0 D
A highway
patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the
car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
knitting!
Realizing that
she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked
down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL
OVER!"
"NO!"
the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an
American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said,
"We were the first in space!"
The American
said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde
said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian
and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.
To which the
Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at
night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing
Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she
landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in
a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought
for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was
visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her
what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex
and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of
someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO. .....,"
answered the blond... "They' re watch dogs!"
Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says
to the other, "Which do you think is farther away.... Florida or
the moon?"
The other blonde
turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida
?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde
pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on
it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says,
"What's the story?"
He replies,
"Just crap in the carburetor."
She asks,
"How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer
stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her
license.
She replied in a
huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you
take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to
you!"
RIVER WALK
0A
There's this
blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the
opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the
other side?"
The second blonde
looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on
the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young
redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever
she touched it.
"Impossible! "
says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took
her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her
elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise
she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made
her scream.
The doctor said,
"You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well,
no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought
so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
=0 D
A highway
patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the
car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
knitting!
Realizing that
she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked
down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL
OVER!"
"NO!"
the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an
American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said,
"We were the first in space!"
The American
said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde
said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian
and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.
To which the
Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at
night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing
Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she
landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in
a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought
for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was
visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her
what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex
and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of
someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO. .....,"
answered the blond... "They' re watch dogs!"
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