A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.
He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove
satisfactory TITLE to a parcel of property being offered
as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803,
which took the lawyer three months to track down.
After sending the information to the FHA, the Lawyer
received the following response.
(Actual reply from FHA) :
" Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan
application, we note that the request is supported by an
Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner
in which you have prepared and presented the application,
we must point out that you have only cleared title to the
proposed collateral property only back to 1803. Before
final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to
establish clear the title of the property back to its ORIGIN. "
Truly annoyed, the Lawyer responded as follows :
(Actual response):
" Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been
received. I note that you wish to have the title search
extended further than the 206 years covered by the
present application. I was unaware that any educated
person in this country, particularly those working in the
properties department, would not know that Louisiana
was purchased by the United States from France in 1803,
the year of origin as identified in our original application.
For edification of apparently ingnorant FHA bureaucrats,
the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained
from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest
from the Royal Monarchy of Spain .
The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of
Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named
Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the exclusive
privilege of seeking a new route to India by the ruling
Spanish Monarch, Her Highness Queen Isabella of Spain.
The good Queen Isabella, being a pious woman and almost
as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of
securing the blessings of His Eminence, The Pope, before
she sold her precious crown jewels to finance Columbus's
expedition - thus establishing payment of price for acquisition.
Now the Pope, as I'm sure you ( or someone in the FHA ) may
possibly know, is the official acknowledged emissary of Lord
Jesus Christ, the Son of GOD, ... and GOD, as it is commonly
accepted, created this World.
Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made
this part of the world called Louisiana. GOD, therefore, would
be the ORIGINAL rightful Owner and His origins date back to
before the beginning of Time, the World as we know it, and the
FHA. I hope you find God's original title to be satisfactory.
Now, may we have that *@#+~%* Loan ?"
The loan was immediately approved.
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