All Judgement and Doomsday Believers

*Due to technical difficulties... The scheduled END OF WORLD event has been
postponed.*

* We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. If you have
already quit your job, given away your life savings or liquidated all of
your assets... **Oopps... Our bad! *

*We will attempt another doomsday event on 21st December 2012. *

Have a nice day!*

The funny doctor

MY  DOCTOR...

Let me tell you about my doctor.

He's very good!

If you tell him you want a second opinion,

He'll go out and come in again.
~~~~~
He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years

Before he realized she was Chinese.
~~~~~
Another time, he gave a patient six months to live.

At the end of the six months, the patient hadn't paid his bill,

So, the doctor gave him another six months.
~~~~~
While he was  talking to me, his nurse came in and said,

"Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible."

The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him."
~~~~~
Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled,

"Doctor, doctor! - my  son just swallowed a roll of film!"

The doctor calmly replied, "Let's just wait and see what  develops."
~~~~~
One patient  came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem."

The doctor asked, "When did it start?"

The man replied, "When did what start?"
~~~~~
I remember one time I told my doctor

I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: "Don't answer  it."
~~~~~
My doctor sure has his share of nut cases.

One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell."

The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these  -

If they don't work,  give me a ring."
~~~~~
Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards.

The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you  later."
~~~~~
When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places,

He told me to stop going to those places.
~~~~~
You know, doctors can be so frustrating.

You wait a month and a half for an appointment,

Then he  says, "I wish you had come to me sooner.

The Obedient Father !!

There was a father who called his 5 small children together. 
 As they sat together in a circle on the floor
the dad placed a toy in the middle. 
 
He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them.
 
He asked them "who is the most obedient?"
Five sets of eyes looked up at him.
Sensing that they didn't understand the word he then asked, "ok, who always obeys mommy, and does everything she says?"
 
One of the children picked up the toy and handed it to the father.
  "You win!" exclaimed the child

Farmer

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They
couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would
just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and
a
gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple
of
chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a
problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who
told him she was lost.. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603
Mockingbird Lane ?'

The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that
house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'

The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket.
Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the
goose
in your other hand?'

'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll
be
there in no time.'

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, I am a lonely
widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in
the
alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have
your way
with me?'

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of
paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold
you up
against the wall and do that?'

The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put
the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens