Curiosity

*A man walks into a drug store with his 8 year old son. They happen to walk
by the condom display, *
*and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of
-factly replies, *
*"Those are called condoms, son... Men use them to have safe sex."*
**

**

**
*"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health
class at school." *
**

**

**
*He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there
3 in this package?" *
**

**

**
*The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday,
one for Saturday
and one for Sunday." *
**

**

**
*"Cool, says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these
for?" *
**

**

**
*"Those are for college men." the Dad answers. "Two for Friday, Two
for Saturday
and Two for Sunday."*
**

**

**
*"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks with bright eyes,
picking up the 12 pack. *
**

**

**

*With a sigh, the Dad replied, "Those are for married men, one for January, one
for February, one for March..."*

Google Streetview - Be Careful

Be Careful When Using Google Streetview!

I was just looking at my house on Google Streetview
and I saw my wife through the
window in the front room, shagging the postman.
It was only after I'd bludgeoned her to death
that I realized that the image was two years old….
when I used to be a postman

Celebration

Wife: Look at that drunk man!

Husband : Who is he?

Wife : 10 Years ago he was my boy friend & I denied him from marriage.

Husband : Oh my word, he is celebrating till now!!!!

Tutor trouble

*A boy has recently heard some new words from a senior student. He is very
curious to know the real meaning of those words.

One day, he enters a bar hoping to get his answers, and asks a man, "Do you
know the meaning of 'di*k'?" The man hesitates to tell the boy the real
meaning as he does not want to be responsible for spoiling the boy.He
answers, "Of course I do, It means an umbrella!"

The boy then asks the man, "What does 'f*ck' mean?"
The man decides not to tell him this one too. He replies, "It means to go to
office!"

The boy asks his last question, "What do 'bra' and 'panties' mean?"
The man cunningly replies, "They mean book and copies!"

One stormy day, his elder sister's tutor comes the house. The boy opens the
door. He looks at the tutor's umbrella and says,"Oh no! Your dick has got a
puncture on it and is leaking! Give it to me, I'll put in one corner."

The tutor gets terribly angry and says, "WHAT! Where are your parents?"
The boy replies, "They have gone to f*ck."
The tutor is bewildered. He asks, "Ok, where is your sister?"
He replies, "She has opened her bra and panties and is waiting for you!"

These Boots Are Too Tight

*If you've ever dressed a child you will love this story.*

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten
students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help and the teacher could see why. Even with her pulling and
him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the
second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the
little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the
boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as
together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't
you say so?" like she wanted to. And once again she struggled to help him
pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner than they got the
boots off he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry, but she mustered up the
grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots"

Her trial starts next month.

Letter of the Year

Dear Mother-in-Law

Please don't try to tell me how to raise my kids - I'm married to one of
yours and believe me there's room for improvement!

Sincerely
Your Daughter-in-Law