Pathology one liners

Pathology’s top ten one liners...... .& what they really mean


1) Enucleated specimen of right eye, inadequate for opinion: excise the left eye, too.


2) Small round cell tumour, advised immunohistochemistr y for a definite diagnosis: I don’t know what the hell it is.... 


3) Compatible with lichen planus: doesn’t look like it. But if you insist, I don’t resist.

4) Florid reactive hyperplasia, lymph node; advised close clinical follow up: boss, wait till it turns into a full blown lymphoma, then I’ll type it.

5) Borderline serous cystadenoma, ovary, with focal microinvasion: phew, this’ll save my skin, if the patient throws a met 10 years later!

6) Early ill formed epithelioid granulomas with occasional acid fast bacilli: I have an excellent imagination!

7) Special stains for fungi, bacteria and parasites are not contributory: I didn’t look hard enough.

8) Metastatic poorly differentiated neoplasm, cerebellum, with possibilities of carcinoma, sarcoma, melanoma, lymphoma . . .: looking for the primary is your job; anyway, how does it matter now?

9) Appendix showing lymphoid hyperplasia: you knocked off a perfectly normal one.

10) Poorly preserved biopsies from multiple sites, unsuitable for definite opinion: only a necropsy can solve the issue