Prostate Exam - Thai style

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test
on the National Health Service, a friend of mine decided to have his
next test carried out while visiting in Thailand where the beautiful
nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.

As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side on the bed
and the nurse began the examination.

"At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection"
said the nurse.

"I haven't got an erection" said the man.
"No, but I have" replied the nurse.

Why aren't you afraid of me?

*A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were
sitting in their pews and talking.* *Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front
of the church.*
*
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling
each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in
his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate
enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'

The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'

'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.

'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.

'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.

'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all
eternity?' persisted Satan.

'Yep,' was the calm reply.

'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.

' Nope,' said the old man

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'*

*The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.*

daru

Jab maine daru pehli bar pee....
Mein apni nazro mein gir gya..
Aur maine darru chhodne ka faisla kiya. 
Par fir jab maine un tamaam daru factory ke majdoor, 
unke biwi bacho ke bare me socha, 
toh meri aankh bhar aayi 
aur usi pal faisla kiya ki ab se 'I will drink regularly!'

Apne liye to sab jeete hain..
kabhi doosron k liye bhi jee kar dekho dost!

mast joke

Morning in cities:

Delhi:Get up darling
Pune:Dear u r getting late
Mumbai:Wake up Sweet Heart
UP:paani aa gaya hai
light jane wali hai
uth rahe ho ya dun ek laat.....:) 

Extract from Tony Blair's book!

'I had regularly started jogging out of Downing Street . On each run I
happened to jog past a hooker (prostitute) standing on the same
street corner, day after day.

With some apprehension I would brace myself as I approached her for
what was most certainly to follow.

"Fifty Pounds!" she would shout from the kerb.

"No way, 50pence!" I fired back.

This ritual between myself and the hooker continued for days.

I'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty Pounds!"

And I'd yell back "50pence!"

One day, however, my wife Cherie decided that she wanted to accompany
me on my jog.

As we jogged nearer the problematic street corner, I realised the
"pro" would bark her £50 offer and Cherie would wonder what I had
really been doing on all my past outings.

I realised I'd need to have a damn good explanation for my illustrious
lawyer wife.

As we jogged into the turn that would take us past the corner, I
became even more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough, there was the hooker.

I tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair of us jog past.

Then, from the pavement, the hooker yelled,

"See what you get for 50pence?!!"