INDIAN MOM-
Enjoy This.... Really good.... A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar 's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made hermore curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates.' About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?' Kumar said ,'Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, jjust to be sure.'
So he sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Kumar
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the factremains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother........... !
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Indian mom
INDIAN MOM-
Enjoy This.... Really good.... A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar 's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made hermore curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates.' About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?' Kumar said ,'Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, jjust to be sure.'
So he sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Kumar
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the factremains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother........... !
Enjoy This.... Really good.... A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar 's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made hermore curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates.' About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?' Kumar said ,'Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, jjust to be sure.'
So he sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Kumar
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the factremains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother........... !
Killer english
Relax ... :)
Killing English....
Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls' hostel
pulling cigarette...? "
(WOW...like a table top???....hav heard about pulling legs, this is
sumthing new)
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father
(Any other options???)
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Class teacher once said :
"Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
(Who??? paper or student???)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America..."
(hmmm...interesting)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..."
(Topsyturvy)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Don't laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be
fallen down.....
(Grrr....this person needs Basic Communication Skills Class Room Training)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered. She tried
to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. And then she said
"why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
(New Discovery)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Teacher in a furious mood...
Write down your name and father of your name!!
(Excuse me...)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"Shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
(Gr8...is he a satellite or sumthing???)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
(Child marriages are banned... :D)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"I'll illustrate what I have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
(What an illustration...I like this professor)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"Will you hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF"
(Well, you can proceed, would u like to leave a note behind as well...)
************ ********* ********* ************ *
LIBRARIAN SCOLDED," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN, I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
(That will be better....)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
(No Comments...chemical locha!!!)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"
(Because we want to check similarities :-) )
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code...
"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
(In terms of 1's n 0's)
************ ********* ********* ********* *****
Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class,
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"
(2 minz of silence)
******************************
The PT master told the students who were notorious.
"Hey, from tomorrow onwards you both come together separately"
(Make it possible and I will reward my life time savings...)
******************************
PT master to his students "Do you know? I have 2 daughters. Both are girls!!!"
(You need some counselling dude...)
******************************
Hindi master to his students by pointing his scooter that is parked
under a tree,
"See there.My scooter is understanding the tree!!!"
(Wow...when do the non living things started having affairs???)
*****************************
PT master rocks again,
"Okay guys, all of you stand in a straight circle!"
(Wow what an oxymoron...)
******************************
Killing English....
Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls' hostel
pulling cigarette...? "
(WOW...like a table top???....hav heard about pulling legs, this is
sumthing new)
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father
(Any other options???)
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Class teacher once said :
"Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
(Who??? paper or student???)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America..."
(hmmm...interesting)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..."
(Topsyturvy)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Don't laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be
fallen down.....
(Grrr....this person needs Basic Communication Skills Class Room Training)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered. She tried
to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. And then she said
"why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
(New Discovery)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Teacher in a furious mood...
Write down your name and father of your name!!
(Excuse me...)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"Shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
(Gr8...is he a satellite or sumthing???)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
(Child marriages are banned... :D)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"I'll illustrate what I have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
(What an illustration...I like this professor)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"Will you hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF"
(Well, you can proceed, would u like to leave a note behind as well...)
************ ********* ********* ************ *
LIBRARIAN SCOLDED," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN, I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
(That will be better....)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
(No Comments...chemical locha!!!)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"
(Because we want to check similarities :-) )
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code...
"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
(In terms of 1's n 0's)
************ ********* ********* ********* *****
Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class,
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"
(2 minz of silence)
******************************
The PT master told the students who were notorious.
"Hey, from tomorrow onwards you both come together separately"
(Make it possible and I will reward my life time savings...)
******************************
PT master to his students "Do you know? I have 2 daughters. Both are girls!!!"
(You need some counselling dude...)
******************************
Hindi master to his students by pointing his scooter that is parked
under a tree,
"See there.My scooter is understanding the tree!!!"
(Wow...when do the non living things started having affairs???)
*****************************
PT master rocks again,
"Okay guys, all of you stand in a straight circle!"
(Wow what an oxymoron...)
******************************
MEDICAL ALERT
The center for Disease Control Board has issued a medical alert about a highly dangerous virus called"Weekly Overload Recreational Killer" (WORK).
If you see anyone infected by WORK, don't go near him/her. The virus will wipe out your private life entirely.
If you come in contact with this WORK, you should immediately take at least two of your friends to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center to take 1 or both of the antidotes known as "Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract" (WINE) and"Bothersome Employer Elimination Reboot-er"(BEER) and continue its dosage till WORK is eliminated from your system completely.
Issued in Public Interest by "Buddies for Eradication of Work Disease Association" (BEWDA's).
If you see anyone infected by WORK, don't go near him/her. The virus will wipe out your private life entirely.
If you come in contact with this WORK, you should immediately take at least two of your friends to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center to take 1 or both of the antidotes known as "Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract" (WINE) and"Bothersome Employer Elimination Reboot-er"(BEER) and continue its dosage till WORK is eliminated from your system completely.
Issued in Public Interest by "Buddies for Eradication of Work Disease Association" (BEWDA's).
A Panchatantra story retold
A Panchatantra Story Re-told with a Modern perspective
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river.
Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river.
Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied "I know that, you stupid donkey!
The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!
Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
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