saree

Wife Saw Sign Board:

Nylon Saree

Rs.8/-

Cotton Saree

Rs.5/-

Banarsi Saree

Rs.10/-

Wife: Give me Rs.500 I値l buy 50 Sarees.

Husband: Andhi! Dhobi ki dukaan hai

I know I am a human but listen to m

I know I am a human but listen to my complaints first: 
 
 
I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.
I get up in the morning like a horse
I go to work running like a deer
I work all the day like a donkey
I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.
I wag my tail in front of all my bosses
I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.
I am like a rabbit before my wife

You think I'm enjoying myself

*An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his
time at the pub, so one night he took her along.*
*

"What'll ya have?" he asked.

"Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied.

So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw
his down in one go. His wife watched him, then took a sip
from her glass and immediately spat it out.

"Yuck, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted!"
she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"

"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm
out enjoying myself every night!"

3 idoits .... Chatur speech on convo

Adarniya sadapati mahodaya atithi vishesh sikshan mantri sri R D tripatiji manniya sikshgan aur mere pyare sahapatiyo aaj agar ICE asman ki bulandiyon ko chu raha hai toh uska shrey sirf ek insanko jata hai Sir viru shahastra buddi.

Pichale 32 saal se inhone nirantar iss colg mein balatkar pe balatkar kiye, umeed hai aage bhi karte rahenge.

Hame toh ashchrya hota hai ki ek insaan apne jivan kaal me itni balatkar kaise kar sakta hai, inhone kadi tapasiya se apne aap ko is kabil bunaya hai.

Waqt ka sahi upyog, ghanti ka purna istemal koi inse sikhe sike inse sike. Aaj hum sab chatra yaha pe kal desh videsh me fail jaaye, vaada hai aapse jis desh mein honge waha balatkar karenge.

ICE ka naam roshan karenge. Dikha denge sabko jo balatkar karne ki
shamta yaha ke chatro mein hai, wo sansar ke kisi chatra mein nahi.

No othr chatra no othr chatra. Adarniya mantriji namashkar aapne is sansthan ko wo chis di jiski hume sakth jarorat thi - Stan. Stan hota sabi ke pas hai, sab chupa ke rakhte hai, deta koi nai.

Apne apna stan is balatkari purush ke haat de diya. Ab dekhiye ye kaisa iska upyog karta hai.

Swarna akshar par ek shlok yaad aa rahe hai. Uthamam datadad paadam, madhyam paadam tuchk-tuchk. Ganishtam thur-thuriya paadam, sursuri pran ghatgam.

Misfit World

Misfit World 
Dinesh Vora 
Two dwarfs pick up two prostitutes in a bar and take them
to their separate rooms in the hotel. *
The first dwarf, however, ran into the problem of getting erection. 
While the friend of his in next room was shouting, “Here baby I come 
again, one, two and three, oh… oh..” and he kept hearing this all night long. 
In the morning, the second dwarf opens the mouth first and asks his friend 
how did you do for all the money we paid these girls. 
The first one cried and says, “Damn it is frustrating, I even could not 
raise mine. But I could feel you really enjoyed the night several times.” 
The second dwarf said, “It is really embarrassing, but I could not even 
climb from the floor up on the bed.”

Smart Ass

Smart Ass -2009 

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead..'

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles. 
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas...'

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009!!
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

A BONUS EXTRA

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.

A Hilarious Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and continuing it in 2009 also....... 

Because of your kindness: 

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains. 

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS. 

* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc….. 

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer... 
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me. 

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo... 

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.


* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.... (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...) 

* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy. 
* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now. 
* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh , Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. Now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else) 

NOW IMPORTANT NOTE : 

If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm. 

Nothing has happened till now......... ......... ..... but who knows. So please forward.

Science Cartoons - "Life in Research" Biology & Medical Comic for Scientists & Doctors

Science Cartoons - "Life in Research" Biology & Medical Comic for Scientists & Doctors

Interesting Quotes

If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? -Sydney J. Harris 
·  Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like. -Mill Smith 
·  Failure should never go to heart and success should never go to head, both makes a person to fall in life. - Winston Churchill 

·  A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure until he begins to blame somebody else and stops trying. -John Burroughs 
·  There's something in every atheist, itching to believe, and something in every believer, itching to doubt.
-Mignon McLaughlin 

·  Those who turn to God for comfort may find comfort but I do not think they will find God. -Mignon McLaughlin 
·  Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. -Goethe 
·  If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. -Ogden Nash 
·  I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. -Patrick Murray