Wednesday, August 24, 2011

kutte ka bacha bach gaya hai

Kapil Sibbal ki car se "Puppy" mar gaya......, Sibbal to driver " is kutte ke bache ke Malik ka pata karo".
Jab driver wapas aaya to uske galle me bahot si Fulon ki mala thi, 
Sibal"ye kya he"
Driver:"Sir, logon ne meri puri baat hi nahin suni, aur khusi se itne haar pehna diye.. Maine to sirf itna kaha k " Main Kapil sibbal ka driver hun. Kutte ka bacha mar gaya ha

Nasbandhi ka operation

NAUKRANI:- Mem saab mai PREGNANT hu.
MEMSAAB:- Badhai ho apna khayal rakhna.
NAUKRANI:- Aap b khayal rakhna, saab ki NASBANDHI ka operation theek se nahi hua hai

5 mistakes of Manmohan G

1) 2G
2) 3G
3) CWG
...4) Listening to soniaG
5) Forgetting annaG

Modern Marvels

A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut
before his meeting tomorrow, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if
there was a barber on the premises.

"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall
from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15, and
stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz
and spin. Fifteen seconds later, he pulled his head out and looked in the
mirror, and saw the best haircut of his life. "Would wonders never cease!
This futuristic stuff is amazing," he thought.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read "Manicures $10."

"Why not?" he thought. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot,
and the machine started to buzz and spin. Fifteen seconds later he pulled
out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, "Machine provides a service men need
when away from their wives, 50 Cents."

"Oh, man...do I ever need that!" He looked both ways, put fifty cents in the
machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood
into the opening.

When the machine started buzzing, he let out a shriek of agony and almost
passed out.

*Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, he was able to
withdraw his member which now had a button neatly sewn on the end.

Jewish Teeth

In 1936, Morris Rabinowitz, a dentist, fled his native Germany .

He sold his assets and made five sets of solid gold teeth with his cash,
well above the limit he could bring into the U.S.

When he arrived in New York , the customs official was perplexed as to why
anybody would have five sets of gold teeth. So Morris explained. "Jews who
keep kosher have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy
products, but I am so religious I also have separate sets of teeth."

The customs official shook his head and said, "Well, that accounts for two
sets of teeth. What about the other three?"

Morris replied, "Very religious Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but
I am so Orthodox that I have separate teeth for Passover meat and Passover
dairy food."

The customs official shook his head and said, "You must be a man of very
strong faith to have separate teeth for meat and dairy products and
likewise for Passover. That accounts for four sets of teeth. What about the
fifth set?"

Morris looked around and spoke softly. "To tell you the truth," he said,
"once in a while I like a ham sandwich.

new diet


After starting a new diet, I altered my drive to work to avoid passing
my favorite bakery. 

I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and,
as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. 

I felt this was no accident, so I prayed ... "Lord, it's up to you, if you want me
to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me
directly in front of the bakery."

And sure enough, ... on the eighth
time around the block, there it was! 

God is so good to me!'