Monday, September 19, 2011

Bahen ki vidhai

BAHEN KE VIDHAAYI MEIN, USKA CHOTA BHAI- PAPA, DIDI RO RAHI HAI, JIJAJI TO NAHI RO RAHEN HAI....

PAPA: BETA, DIDI TO GATE TAK HE ROYEGI, LEKIN JIJAJI TO ZINDAGI BAR ROYENGE.....

very funny

Teacher: tum bade hokar kya karoge
Arun: Shadi    
Teacher: Aisa Nahi, tum kya banana
chahate ho?
Arun: Husband.
Teacher: No, I mean, Tumhe zindagi me
kis chiz ki tamanna hai?
Arun: Wife ki
Teacher: Oh No, tum apne parents
keliye kya karoge?
Arun: Bahu  Dhudunga
Teacher:  Stupid, Tumhare Mata, pita tumse kys chahate
hai?
Arun: Pota
Teacher: He bhagvan, tumhare zingi ka
laksh kya hai?
Arun: Hum Do, Hamara Ek.

Nice girl & Good girl

What is the difference between a good girl and a nice girl?
A nice girl goes out on a date , goes home, and goes to bed.
A good girl goes out on a date, 
goes to bed, and 
then goes home.

BIMAARI in Bollywood style-

BIMAARI in Bollywood style-
1. Jiya Jale jaan jale, Raat bhar dhuan chale : FEVER
2. Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi : HEART ATTACK
3. Juda hoke bhi tu mujh main kahin baki hai: CONSTIPATION 
4. Bidi jalaiye jigar se piya jigar maa badi aag hai: ACIDITY
5. Tujh main rab dikhta hai yaara main kya karun: CATARACT
6. Tujhe yaad na meri aayi kisise ab kya kehena: ALZEIMERS
7. Man dole mera tan dole: VERTIGO

Big question

Petrol - 71.92

Sachin Tendulkar - 99 Century's

Big Question ... Who will reach 100 first....??

Gossiping

Testing for gossip

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”

“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?”

“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it and ...”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really …”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”


Have a nice day
Keep smiling

Salary increase

New way to threaten your boss:

If you do not increase my salary,
I will tell everyone in the office
that you have increased my salary....

Highs & Lows of life

The Highs And Lows Are So Important To Keep Us Ever Going... 
Even A Straight Line In An ECG Means, 
We Are Not Alive...
So Enjoy The Highs And Lows Of Life..

Shaadi Shuda joda...

1 Hotel me new Shaadi Shuda Joray ke liay hidayat darj thi:
“Khirki par perhdey daal dijeay”
“Aapka Pyaar andha ho sakta hai.”
“Magar hamara staff Nahi.”

Guess Who?

*A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. *
**
*After 2 weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they
received from friends and family. *
**
*Since this was a new home, the process took some time. *
**
*The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for display
and some of the more intimate apparel was put in the bedroom drawers.

A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show where
tickets were impossible to get. *
**
*They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent
this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a
single line: "Guess who sent them."

The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the
effort. *
**
*They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. *
**
*On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of
the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. *
**
*And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper on which was
written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets: "Now you know!"

Three Daughters

*There was a father who was very proud of his three daughters. *
*Every night he took a stroll around the house to make sure everything was
all right. *
*One night when he was doing his stroll, he could hear laughter coming from
his
youngest daughter's room. He stood there for a while and thought about this,
*
*but decided that he could always ask her tomorrow, instead of bothering
her at this time of the night. *
*When he reached the window of his second daughter, he could hear her
crying. *
*He thought about this too, but ultimately he decided to ask her tomorrow
and continued. *
*There were no sounds at all coming from his oldest daughter's room, *
*and he then went to bed, satisfied.*

*The next day, when they all were gathered around the breakfast table, *
*he said to his youngest daughter "I heard you laughing last night, *
*as I walked past your window. Why was that?"
She answered "That's because you taught me to laugh when someone was making
me happy..."
He then asked his second daughter "I heard you crying last night, why was
that?"
She answered "That's because you taught me to cry when someone was hurting
me..."
He then told his oldest daughter "I didn't hear anything from you..."
She said "That's because you taught me not to talk with my mouth full..."*

Tihar special

Kani, Raja & Kalmadi were laughing at Amar Singh.
Amar asks Y laughing?
They said:"Humne to CASH LIYE aur Jail Aaye, Chodu Tu To CASH DENE pe Jail Aaya"