Lifetime Savings

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the
groom was 95 and the bride was 23.
The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night
might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase
slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel.
The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You
look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, *"Ohhh God!
He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years and I thought he meant his
money!!"*

Just Luck

Susie's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several
months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single
day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for
her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and
leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.*

*"You know" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "you have been
with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right
beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost
the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my
health started failing, you were still by my side. "And you know
what?"*

*"What, dear?" she asked gently, smiling to herself.*

*"I think you're bad luck."*

WORLD CLASS DEFINITIONS..!!

AIDS : Ass infected don't screw

ARAB : After Rape Apply Balm

AFRICA : After **** Rest In Cool Air

AMERICA : All Men Enjoy Raping In Cool Atmosphere

ADIDAS : All Day I Dream About Sex

BOMBAY : Both Of My Balls Are Yours

CAPSTAN : Can a prick stand thrice at night

CUBA : Caught Under Bra Area

GERMANY : Girls Even Rape Men At New York

PUNE : Please Use Nirodh Everyday

JAPAN : Jumping And Pumping All Night

LIMCA : Love In Mid-night is Cause of Abortion

PARIS : Please Allow Rape In School

RUSSIA : Rape Until She Screams In Agony

PUMA : Press Until Milk Arrives

ROME : Rape On Morning & Evening

HOLLAND : Hope Our Love Lives And Never Dies

USA : Under Skirt Activities (or AREA)

BITCH : Beautiful Indian Teenagers Causing Heartbreaks

PIG : Pretty Indian Girls

PIA : Pain In Ass

WIFE : Wonderful Instrument For **** & Entertainment

FEMALES : For Entertaining MALES

blood

12:56pm Aug 6
17 sal ki umar me pahli bar kiya to khoon aya
2nd bar kiya,dard hua
3rd bar kiya,jalan hui
4th bar kiya,smoothly hua

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I m talking abt SHAVING.
Dirty-mind.

Keeping Walking

Grandpa Jaffer was celebrating his
100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how
athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"I will tell you the secret of my success," he happily cackled.
"My wife and I were married 48 years ago.
On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge.
Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong
would go outside and take a walk."

And, Grandpa Jaffer continued,
"Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air
day after day for some 45 years now."

I forgot my glasses

Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn't do something useful with my time.
She suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys my
own age.

I did this, and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a
parachute club .

She said "Are you nuts? You're almost 60 years old and you're going to start
jumping out of airplanes?"

I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to me, "You idiot, where are your glasses! This is a membership to
a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"

I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do! I signed up for five jumps
a week!

*Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.*

Mans world in India

India now ruled by..

Amma in South 

Didi in East 

Bhenji in North 

Aunty in the Capital

Madam in Center 

Nani on top (the president)

&

And yet people say.. It’s a Man's World?

Have a wonderful day ahead !!!!!!

On a Safari with mother in law

A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One
morning, while still deep in the jungle, the hunter's wife awakened to find
her mother gone. She woke her husband, and they both set off in search of
the old woman. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a
chilling sight.

The mother-in-law was standing face to face with a ferocious lion."What are
we going to do?" his horrified wife asked.

"Nothing," her husband replied, "The lion got himself into this mess, let
him get himself out of it....!!!!!!"