Never make a woman angry!

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint
Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful
banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people
she had loved and who had died before her.

They saw her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello - How are you! We've
been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful
place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the
Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of
Heaven, her husband arrived.

"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I
married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill.
And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I
lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around
the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I
fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis”, she replied.

*Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry . . . there will be Hell to
pay!*

NB: The longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary is the which
is supposed mean lung-disease;
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (45 letters).

Hey Krishna

Hey Krishna tu is kalyug mein aa kar to dikha…

Tune 18 saal ki umar me mama kans ko mara,
BIN LADEN ko hath laga kar to dikha …

Tune Arjun ko to Saari Geeta sunayee,
Mere Project Manager se ek baar baat kar ke to dikha …

Tune to Arjun ka Sarathi banke Pandavon ko jitaaya
Indian Cricket team ka Coach ban ke WorldCup jitaake to dikha …
  Tune bhari mehfil mein draupadi ko saree pehnai,
Mallika sherawat ko ek jodi kapde pehna ke to dikha …

Tune gokul ki 1600 gopiyan patai,
Meri company ki sirf ek ladki ko pata kar to dikha …

Hey Krishna tu is kalyug mein aa kar to dikha

Tea time!

In the year 1975, Superman, Batman and Spiderman were flying across India &
suddenly they died.*

*Why ???*

*Hold on...Rajinikanth nahin hai iska jawaab !
...
Yaad hai, Sholay mein Gabbar ne 3 goliyan hawa mein chalayi thi....?*

Dirty fork

*A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.
The waiter, who is also the owner, hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry, Sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. *
*Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, *
*I'll smell it and order from there."
A little curious, the owner walks over to a dirty
pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the
blind man's table and hands it to him.
The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes
in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what I'll have,
meatloaf and mashed potatoes." "Unbelievable!" *
*In the kitchen, the owner exclaims to his wife Theresa,
who is also the cook, and tells her what has just happened.
*
*A few days later the blind man returns, and the owner
brings him a menu."Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you
a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork
and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath,
the blind man says, "That smells great,
I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
In disbelief, the owner tells his wife Theresa that
the next time the blind man comes in he's going to
test him.*
**
*The blind returns the following week, but this time *
*the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, "Theresa, rub this fork on your
panties before I take it to the blind man." Theresa
does it and hands her husband the fork.
As the blind man sits down, the owner is ready.
"Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and
I already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a
deep whiff and says,
"Hey, I didn't know that Theresa works here?**