Jab Koi Baat...

Jab koi baat
bigad jaye
Jab koi mushkil
Pad jaaye

To

To

To

To
('-') mai kya
<) (> karu??
J L
tumhari Harkate hi aisi hoti h
Pta nhi kab sudhroge

The Ambulance and the Indian

*An Indian living in Westmead, NSW (Australia) suffered a heart attack in
front of the Pendle Hill Take-Away Restaurant on the road and was picked
up by an ambulance. Being religious, he kept repeating - "Hari
Om Hari Om Hari Om ".

When the ambulance pulled into his home , instead of the Westmead
Hospital, his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics: 'Why
didn't you take him straight to the hospital?'

They replied 'Because he kept saying Hurry home, Hurry home,
Hurry home!'

Italian Maths Test

An Italian workman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him
until he passes a little math test.

'Here's your first question,' the foreman said. 'Without using
numbers, represent the number 9.'

'Withouta numbers?' the Italian says, 'Datsa easy.' and he
proceeds to draw three trees.

'What's this?' the boss asks.
'Ave you gota no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine,'
says the Italian.

'Fair enough,' says the boss. 'Here's your second question. Use
the same rules, but this time the number is 99.'

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the
picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree . 'Ere
you go.'

The boss scratches his head and says, 'How on earth do you get
that to represent 99?'
'Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and
dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99.'

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to
hire this Italian, so he says, 'All right, last question. Same rules
again, but represent the number 100.'

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the
picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and
says, 'Ere you go. One hundred.'

The boss looks at the attempt. 'You must be nuts if you think
that represents a hundred!'
(You're going to love this one!!!)

The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of
each tree and says, 'A little doga come along and shita by eacha tree.
So now you gota dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and
dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred.
'So, whenna I start?'

Speed mein

Judge : Kya sabOot hai ke tum Gari (CAr) Speed main nahi chala rahe thay?
Admi : Sir main apni biwi ko lene SusRaaL ja raha tha 
.
.
.
.
Judge : Thats All Case Dismissed:

patience

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.

world famous painter

There was this world famous painter. In the prime of her career, she started
losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went
to see the best eye surgeon in the world.

After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored.
The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting
the doctor's office.

Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had
finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art:
the doctor's office.

During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked
the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office,
especially that large eye on the wall?"

To this, the eye doctor responded, "I said to myself `Thank God I'm not a
proctologist.'"

The last Sane Generation

The last SANE generation! -

We are the last generation that learnt to play in the street.

We are the first who've played video games, seen cartoons in color and went to amusement parks.

We were the last to record songs of the radio on cassettes and we are the pioneers of walkmans and chatrooms.

We Learned how to program the VCR before anyone else.

We learnt to work with DOS, folppy disk, play Nintendo, Dave, and Mario.

We are the generation of the anek chidiya days, Tom & jerry, Thunder Cats, He- man,Tarzan, Mogli.

We witnessed the original Mahabharat and the Ramayan of doordarshan.

We traveled in cars without seat belts or air-bags.

We lived without cell phones.

We did not have Play stations, 99 television stations, flat screens, surround sound, mp3s, iPods, computers and the Internet,
We were the last to write HW, note for parents in school diary, researched in libraries and bunked school to play football

...but nevertheless We had a GREAT Time

Stupid question but super answer

For those that don't know him, *Major General Peter Cosgrove *is an
Australian.

*General Cos grove was interviewed on the radio recently.*
*Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and
children.*
*Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this! This is
one of the best comeback lines of all time.*
*In a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster and
General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his
military Headquarters.*
*
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:*
So, General Cos grove, what things are you going to teach these young boys
when they visit your base?*

GENERAL COSGROVE:*
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
*
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:*
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?*

GENERAL COSGROVE:*
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.*

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:*
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching
children?*

GENERAL COSGROVE:*
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before
they even touch a firearm.
*
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:*
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.*

GENERAL COSGROVE:*
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are
you?*

The radiocast went silent for 46 seconds........*

VATICAN HUMOR

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he
doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the
curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your
seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at
the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today..'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job!
What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never
gone to work that morning..

'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the
wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the
airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms..
(Remember, the Pope is German..)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope
keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the
driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but
the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the
radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo
going 205 kph.

'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: ' A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

Sausage machine

*
A father sent his son abroad to give him good education. On his return back
home after completing his studies the father took the son to his factory
where they made sausages.

He let his son have a good look at the whole factory,
The son examined the whole procedure seriously and gave a kinda brainy
look.

Dad was so happy and asked the son, "So Son, do you have any good plans to
further develop our business?."

SON: "Yeah, Instead of putting the pigs into the machine and getting
sausages out , we can put sausages in and get pigs from the other side"
*

*
Dad got so annoyed and said "Wow ! You are so clever, only your mom has
that kind of machine,
when I put my sausage in, a pig like you came out !"

God Bless Elderly Ladies!

*G**o**d Bless Elderly Ladies!*
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the
beach?"
_____________________________________________________
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat
on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to
be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high
wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the
gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir anything
you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
___________________________________________________
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home
reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with
her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a
penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and
cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for
a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I
remember the guy you're talking about."
_____________________________________

God Bless Elderly Ladies!

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car.
Both could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.
As they did the stoplight was red but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it I
could have sworn we just went through red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection, the light was
red, and again they went right through.
This time, the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red, but
was also concerned that she might be seeing things.
She was getting nervous and decided to pay close attention.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and
they blew right through it.
She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know that you ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh Sh#t..! Am I driving..?"

Aaj Ka updesh

Aaj Ka UPDESH:
Grlfnd chahe jitni b kharab ya chalu ho Kabhi us se dosti mat todna,
Qki
"PANI"kitna b gnda ho jaye
"AAG" bujhane k kam to aa hi jata hai..

New Generation - Today's Students

New Generation - Today's Students

We go to school, to attend "CLASS" .
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Sleep Silently.

At home, we have to "STUDY".
S.T.U.D.Y. = Sleep, TV, Unlimited-sms, Dost, Youtube.

In class, we're given "HOMEWORK."
H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K = Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge.

While doing homework, we refer to "TEXTBOOK".
TEXTBOOK = TEXTing + faceBOOK
Sent from my iPhone

Biggest problem in love

Biggest problem in love :
Good Guy Gets Wrong Girl
Good Girl Gets Wrong Guy
They Fall In Love
&
Good Ones Get Cheated Now The Good Guy Thinks
All Girls Are Fraud
&
Good Girls Think
All Guys Are Flirts . . .
. When Good Guy Meets Good Girl
They Avoid Falling In Love
&
Become Just Good Friends 

Deepika went to Yuvraj- his form dropped

Deepika went to Yuvraj- his form dropped
went to Ranbir- his movies flopped...
went to Mallyas- & their Airlines stopped


when will she join congress????????????????????

English chalegi na??

1 ladka ladki dekhne gaya. usne english me baat krne ka socha or bola.

english chalegi na?
ladki sharmate huye boli

"soda sath me ho to desi b chalegi ..