*G**o**d Bless Elderly Ladies!*
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the
beach?"
_____________________________________________________
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat
on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to
be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high
wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the
gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir anything
you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
___________________________________________________
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home
reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with
her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a
penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and
cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for
a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I
remember the guy you're talking about."
_____________________________________
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the
beach?"
_____________________________________________________
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat
on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to
be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high
wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the
gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir anything
you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
___________________________________________________
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home
reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with
her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a
penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and
cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for
a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I
remember the guy you're talking about."
_____________________________________
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