Tuesday, September 20, 2011

praise for answered prayers

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

Alice Chapman stood and walked to the podium.

She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, John, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor John must have experienced.

"John was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of John's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on John.

"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, John is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, "I'm John Chapman." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

Sternum is a flat, dagger shaped bone located in the middle of the chest.

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