Give Your Best to Relationship

A boy and a girl were playing together.The boy had a collection of marbles. 
The girl had some sweets with her.
 
The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. 
The girl agreed. 
 
The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. 
The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.
 
That night, girl slept peacefully. 
But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden 
some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.
 

Moral of the story:

If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, always keep 
doubting  if the other person has given his/her hundred percent..
 
This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship etc. 
Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully.

Brakes - adult

A man is busy screwing his girlfriend on the railway tracks.  The alert
train driver spots the couple miles before and immediately starts hooting
and starts applying the brakes, but the couple just ignores it and is
happily in the act.

The driver is damn irritated and just stops a few yards away from the loving
couple. He jumps down from the engine and rushes towards the man who has
just finished and is zipping up his pants.

The driver is so angry, he starts shouting at the irresponsible young man,
"You idiot, do you realize that if I had not seen you at the right time,
this would have been your last f..k"

“Hold on” replies the young man. *“Listen, you were coming; she was coming
and I was coming... But only you had the brakes...”..*

BEAUTY OF ENGLISH

Beauty of ENGLISH-
Ever noticed how d 1 word aftr another in a sentence can lead 2a nice story?.
.Here's an example:.
"Oh Jack plz dont touch me at all..!""
Oh Jack plz dont touch me at..!""
Oh Jack plz dont touch..!""
Oh Jack plz dont..!""
Oh Jack plz...!""
Oh Jack..!""
Ohh...!''

clever ponderisms

CLEVER PONDERISMS 1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? My sentiments exactly! 3. Ok, so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans? 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? 5. There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters. 6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? 9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist? 10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? 13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? 15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam. 16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, tooth picks? 17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? 19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? 21. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose? 22. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? 23. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells, 'THEIRS'?

bakwas bandh kar

Hope You guys Like This.
Please read at your own risk !!!!!! 

Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get marriedAfter marriage, lots of students gather at 
their home ..... why ???
.......
..........because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth) 

----------------------------------------------------------
rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi......... 
......... ......... ......... ......
sonia gandhi --> kyun beta???????? ????????
rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do 
----------------------------------------------------------
BRUCE LEE was a great man
But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...
why?
Because he became
MAMU LEE! 
----------------------------------------------------------
sharma and Verma r discussing-- -------sharma ----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt 
sleep!!!!"Verma ----- "with me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink 
coffee." 
----------------------------------------------------------
One day Ravan went to a disco....... ......... ......... ..
aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya ............ .......
kyun???????? ????????? ??
kyun???????? ??????
bcoz it was written on the gate that "entry fee Rs.1500 per head" 
----------------------------------------------------------
who made Ganesh to Anesh...????
ThinK......
Think......
okay.....
" KAILASH KHER "
tere naam se " G " loon.... 
----------------------------------------------------------
Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. Tonaukar 
biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.Kyon??????
Think....... ......
Give up??
Coz..."Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango.." 
----------------------------------------------------------
Ek nadi thi......uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....pull par bahut saari 
ladkiyan khadi thi......sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....Guess who was 
the lucky guy??????...........................
Keep Guessing.... ..........................
Chalo yaar....the answer is
"KISNA"Jo hai albela mad naino wala...jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....woh 
kisna hai 
----------------------------------------------------------
if a CAT crosses ur way, when u are going some where,then what does it 
mean????????
?????????
?????????
?????????
?????????
?????????
????????? ?
?
?
? 
it means that the Cat is also going somewhere. 
----------------------------------------------------------
AND FINALLY THE LAST ONE 
Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"
And
Why are American husbands called "MADE OF GOLD"
Socho
|||||||
|||||||
Thoda sur Socho
||||||Socho Socho....
||||||
Nahi Aata
|||||||
Bcoz 
Indian wives call their husband "A g" ( Scientific Symbol for Silver)
American wives call their husband "A u" ( Scientific Symbol for Gold)

two friends

Women are chatting in office.
*
Woman 1: I had sex last night, did you?

Woman 2: Yes.

Woman 1: Was it good?

Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner in
three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled
over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a
romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he
lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had
an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It
was like a fairytale!



*At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
*
Husband 1: You wanted sex last night, how was it?

Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, screwed my
wife and fell asleep. It was great!  What about you?

Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut
the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out
to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We
had to walk home which took an hour – and when we got home remember there
was no electricity so I had to light fucking candles all over the house! I
was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't come
for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't
fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!

secretary pregnant by son

Tom in deep thoughts is sitting calm, very quiet. *
*Jerry asks, "What is wrong with you, Tom?" "Please don't ask." "I am your
childhood friend. Talk to me." *
*"My seven year old son made my secretary pregnant."*
*"That's not possible." *
*"No, he did." *
*"How's that possible?" *
*"He punctured my condoms!"