Sunday, January 30, 2011

Husband and Wife Jokes!!!!!

1) Wife:   Aapko meri khoobsurat i zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?

Husband:    Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay... 
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2) Husband:    Malang baba, meri biwi bohot 

pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang:    Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?
************ **

3) Ek sahab dosray sahab se:   Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab:    Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.
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4) Wife:    Main bazar ja rahi hoon, 
mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!

Husband (ghusay se):    Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!

Wife:    Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai! 
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5) wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to (aik Faqeer ne kaha:Shehzadi  5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband:   De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga. 
************ **

6) An old man married a young Girl, 
Someone asks the GiRL:    Aap ne in mein Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl:     Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam. 
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7) They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
After marriage:     It is self-defense 
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8)Wife:     You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling:    When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife:     You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling:    Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 
"What other problem can there be greater than this one?
************ **

9)How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then...
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?
************ **

10) Teacher:      Wo Kon si Cheez Hai Jo Insaan Ki Izzat Ko Mazbooti Se Jakhre Rakhti Hai?
Student:      MISS, SHALWAR KA NARRA
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11) Husband 2 Wife :       Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ?? Wife remains silent 
Husband :     Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ?? 
Wife :      Abbe gin ne to De 
************ **

12) Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti
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13)Wife:      yesterday-night I saw a dream That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes! 
Husband:      yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!! 
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14) Whats the diff between Dava & Daru? 
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi. 
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15)Husband:    u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:     Nonsense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
************ **

16) Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-     Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.

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