SENIORS

An older gentleman was 
on the operating table 
awaiting surgery 
and he insisted that his son, 
a renowned surgeon, 
perform the operation. 

As he was about to get the anesthesia, 
he asked to speak to his son. 
'Yes, Dad, what is it? ' 

'Don't be nervous, son; do your best 
and just remember, if it doesn't go well, 
if something happens to me, 
your mother is going to come and 
live with you and your wife.' 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ 

Aging: 

Eventually you will reach a point 
when you stop lying about your age 
and start bragging about it. 

------------ --------- --------- --- 

The older we get, the fewer things 
seem worth waiting in line for. 

------------ --------- --------- --- 
Some people 
try to turn back their odometers. 
Not me! 
I want people to know 'why' I look this way. 
I've traveled a long way 
and some of the roads weren't paved. 

************ ******** 
When you are dissatisfied 
and would like to go back to youth, 
think of Algebra. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ 

You know you are getting old when 
everything either dries up or leaks. 

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One of the many things 
no one tells you about aging 
is that it is such a nice change 
from being young.. 

== 
Ah, being young is beautiful, 
but being old is comfortable. 

== 

First you forget names, 
then you forget faces. 
Then you forget to pull up your zipper. 
It's worse when 
you forget to pull it down.. 

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Long ago 
when men cursed 
and beat the ground with sticks, 
it was called witchcraft.. . 

Today, it's called golf. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ 

Two old guys 
are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart 
when they collide. 

The first old guy says to the second guy, 
'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, 
and I guess I wasn't paying attention 
to where I was going.' 

The second old guy says, 
'That's OK, it's a coincidence. 
I'm looking for my wife, too. 
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.' 

The first old guy says, 'Well, 
maybe I can help you find her. 
What does she look like?' 

' The second old guy says, 
'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, 
with red hair, 
blue eyes, 
long legs, 
and is wearing short shorts. 
What does your wife look like?' 

To which the first old guy says, 
'Doesn't matter, let's look for yours.'