Many of us will relate to this definitely ;))*
*The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions
Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin
Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and
the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she
was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)."*
*It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people
filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their
Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing
the room, muttering, "I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows."
**A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his
hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.*
*"Don't worry. It'll be all right."*
*"I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none
of my friends even clicked the 'like'** button."*
*"How long has it been?"*
*"Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world."*
*The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the
receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor.*
*"Please have a seat, Edna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it
all started."*
*"Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join
Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was
something for me, because I usually have my face in a book."*
*"How soon were you hooked?"*
*"Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at
least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up
in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update
from one of my new friends in India. My husband didn't like that. He said
that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced."*
*"What do you like most about Facebook?"*
*"It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five
or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674. **I'm even friends with Juan
Carlos Montoya."*
*"Who's he?"*
*"I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous."*
*"Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see."*
*"Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I
still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was
exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still
working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and
reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies
they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under.
I've also been playing a game with some of them."*
*"Let me guess. Farmville?"*
*"No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Edna."*
*"Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?"*
*"No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy
ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash.
That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is
attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals
is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the
Eisenhower Administration. "*
*"What pic are you using?"*
*"Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find
one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon."*
*"To make yourself look prettier?"*
*"No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm
using."*
*"Didn't your friends notice that you look different?"*
*"Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga."*
*"When did you realize that your Facebooking might be a problem?"*
*"I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message
on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just
thought you should know.'"*
*"What did you do?"*
*"What else? I unfriended him of course!"*
*
*
Don't be too busy earning a living to make any money.
Having more money does not insure happiness. People with ten million dollars
are no happier than people with nine million dollars.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while
you're being miserable.
When a person with money meets a person with experience, the person with the
experience winds up with the money and the person with the money winds up
with the experience
*The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions
Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin
Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and
the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she
was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)."*
*It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people
filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their
Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing
the room, muttering, "I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows."
**A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his
hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.*
*"Don't worry. It'll be all right."*
*"I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none
of my friends even clicked the 'like'** button."*
*"How long has it been?"*
*"Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world."*
*The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the
receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor.*
*"Please have a seat, Edna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it
all started."*
*"Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join
Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was
something for me, because I usually have my face in a book."*
*"How soon were you hooked?"*
*"Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at
least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up
in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update
from one of my new friends in India. My husband didn't like that. He said
that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced."*
*"What do you like most about Facebook?"*
*"It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five
or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674. **I'm even friends with Juan
Carlos Montoya."*
*"Who's he?"*
*"I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous."*
*"Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see."*
*"Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I
still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was
exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still
working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and
reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies
they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under.
I've also been playing a game with some of them."*
*"Let me guess. Farmville?"*
*"No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Edna."*
*"Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?"*
*"No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy
ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash.
That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is
attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals
is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the
Eisenhower Administration. "*
*"What pic are you using?"*
*"Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find
one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon."*
*"To make yourself look prettier?"*
*"No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm
using."*
*"Didn't your friends notice that you look different?"*
*"Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga."*
*"When did you realize that your Facebooking might be a problem?"*
*"I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message
on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just
thought you should know.'"*
*"What did you do?"*
*"What else? I unfriended him of course!"*
*
*
Don't be too busy earning a living to make any money.
Having more money does not insure happiness. People with ten million dollars
are no happier than people with nine million dollars.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while
you're being miserable.
When a person with money meets a person with experience, the person with the
experience winds up with the money and the person with the money winds up
with the experience
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