Keeping Walking

Grandpa Jaffer was celebrating his
100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how
athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"I will tell you the secret of my success," he happily cackled.
"My wife and I were married 48 years ago.
On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge.
Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong
would go outside and take a walk."

And, Grandpa Jaffer continued,
"Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air
day after day for some 45 years now."

I forgot my glasses

Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn't do something useful with my time.
She suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys my
own age.

I did this, and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a
parachute club .

She said "Are you nuts? You're almost 60 years old and you're going to start
jumping out of airplanes?"

I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to me, "You idiot, where are your glasses! This is a membership to
a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"

I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do! I signed up for five jumps
a week!

*Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.*

Mans world in India

India now ruled by..

Amma in South 

Didi in East 

Bhenji in North 

Aunty in the Capital

Madam in Center 

Nani on top (the president)

&

And yet people say.. It’s a Man's World?

Have a wonderful day ahead !!!!!!

On a Safari with mother in law

A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One
morning, while still deep in the jungle, the hunter's wife awakened to find
her mother gone. She woke her husband, and they both set off in search of
the old woman. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a
chilling sight.

The mother-in-law was standing face to face with a ferocious lion."What are
we going to do?" his horrified wife asked.

"Nothing," her husband replied, "The lion got himself into this mess, let
him get himself out of it....!!!!!!"

dost nahi badalte

1, RESULT AGAR ACHCHA HO:

Maa - Bhagwan ki kripa hai.
Papa - Beta Kiska Hai.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.


2. RESULT AGAR BURA HO: 

Maa - Aag lage is mobile main.
Papa - Laad pyar ne bigaad diya.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.


3. BIRTHDAY PER:

Maa - Jug jug jiye mera beta.
Papa - Hamesha aage badhe.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.


4. LOVE MAIN FAIL HONE PER:

Maa - Beta Bhool ja usko.
Papa - Mard ban.
Dost - Chal Daaru Peete hain.


MORAL OF THE STORY:

Duniya badal jati hai par DOST kabhi nahin badalte... 

dost nahi badalte

Warning - ice is dangerous

Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys.

Rum and ice will ruin your liver.

Whisky and ice will ruin your heart.

Gin and ice will ruin your brain.

Coke and ice will ruin your teeth.

That bloody ice is lethal!! Warn all your friends: Lay off the ice!