A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never
worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who
makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can
find such a man.
- *HAPPINESS* *To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot
and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and
not try to understand her at all.*
- *LONGEVITY* *Married men live longer than single men, but married
men are a lot more willing to die.*
- *PROPENSITY TO CHANGE* *A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
change, and she does.*
- *DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE* *A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.*
- *HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED* *Old
aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling,
telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing
to them at funerals*.
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